Religion Sucks

Just putting this out there; probably shouldn't but y'all know me...

It has been a long time coming, but I have concluded that I despise religion. Despise It.

Now let me explain, if you are able to see straight after the last sentence.  I have no problem with faith. I have no problem with belief. I have no problem with any individual's higher being; no matter the rendition. I have no problem with an individual's right to express their personal belief and practice their specific religion. If what you believe makes you a better person, helps you make good decisions, makes you a compassionate contributing member of this planet... then I'm perfectly fine with your beliefs.

I do however have a huge issue with people who claim to be part of a specific religion (and the name or deity does not matter to me) who get their panties all in a bundle because my definitions and beliefs do not exactly to the letter coincide with theirs and then they have the audacity to tell me I am not "christian" or I'm hateful  or think that gives them the right to govern my life based upon their so called belief principles. I loathe the continued atrocities committed in the name of religion; the discrimination, hatred, bigotry and exclusion-ism.

I'm not fond of extremists and they do exist in every religion; so back off the Muslim faith because there are plenty of extremists of all faiths to go around. Some "christains", I'm sure would still prefer to force others into their religion even if it decimates a gentle culture and brings disease and death to the so called "heathens".

I've had enough with people who believe in the Bible; every literal word. I don't argue that it was written by God's prophets and that it is his "word" and it should be studied and respected. However, to really understand every word of that book you would need to be a scholar with fluent abilities in every language that each part was written. Then you would have to be an expert of every culture and every social nuance prevalent at the time it was written and then you would have to be a mind reader; God's mind. Scholars disagree on the minutiae of the good book. How would anyone expect to fully know this writing? Most people take bits and phrases of it out of context to fit their ideals.


This ultra extreme conservative energy that is running through our wonderful Nation is making me ill. There is good reason to separate church and state. How many oppressed religious sects got the hell out of Europe, selling themselves as indentured servants for the passage across the Atlantic in a crappy boat, just so they could get away from some king who killed them for their beliefs?  The same damn king who bought favors with the clergy to change the rules so he could kill his wife and have another.

A motivator in finally starting my blog several months ago was a wonderful friend from high school, who I love to his core.  He become so pissed at my postings regarding the discrimination of LGBT people, of the GOP wanting in women's uterus and wanting to send women in the country back 40 years due to their "religious faith" that he disowned me. He said I was not a christian and that I was the most hateful person he had ever known and a barrage of other heated comments. Poof, over thirty years of friendship gone.  Now I felt pretty sheepish when this happened. Yep, I felt like shit, like he might have a point. I figured that a cooling off period would allow us to talk about it eventually.

But really, he couldn't see that I was anti-people-who-hate-and-use-religion-as-their-justification? He took what I was trying to convey out of context and assumed I was talking about him and all "christians" in general. Horse shit. This is an excellent man, who is raising 4 strong boys in a god loving manner. He has gone on many mission trips to build schools etc in very poor Central American communities.  His family has taken in a psychologically troubled teen and are struggling to find the best way to reach her and make her feel safe and loved.  He struggles with his faith, trying to be a better person in God's eye. How on earth, with me knowing him so well, could he accuse me of hating him because he is "christian".  A man like him is part of the 99% or 47% or what ever the magic number is this week, that proves their goodness and faith on a daily basis through their actions; not blah blahing bits of out of context, bible nonesense.

Also had quite a conversation several years ago with a young woman regarding Iran and the root of the troubles America has with that country. I had the wonderful opportunity to hear 2003 Nobel Peace Prize winner, Shirin Ebadi speak at Meredith College and also read her book, Iran Awakening. After spending an evening discussing facts, this young girl piped up and said, "They are all wrong" in reference that if they are not christian then they are wrong. Fully dismissed facts because it didn't fit in her stupid little religious definition. Wow. Don't fit the definition and you are on the street. I no longer have any respect for this girl. 

I blame religion. I blame the expectation of pure and exact conformity demanded by whoever the whack job at the front of the pulpit happens to be. Every building has a slightly different definition, every person inside that building has a slightly different definition. How can anyone anywhere expect total and complete and exact adherence to some arbitrary set of rules? How? 

This issue screams of hypocrisy. All the lip service to emulating Jay-zus and loving your neighbor while simultaneously dismissing those who aren't your robotic religious equal as not worthy of compassion, understanding, equal rights, autonomous thought... well the list goes on.

So getting back to the trigger for writing this today, all these months after my friend disowned me.  I am putting together my 30 year high school reunion. Have not heard from this friend regarding his attendance, so I noticed his wife (who is quite lovely) online and IMd her. Very short and terse, "He doesn't want to go". My immediate self-deprecating thought, "Yeah, because I, the christian hater, will be there." I am making the reason up and am hoping I am wrong.

A new blog by a fellow COH

A new blog by a fellow COH

Diary of a Hoarder’s Kid

Diary of a Hoarder’s Kid

COH; sharing an article with you

http://www.examiner.com/article/the-affects-on-children-who-live-with-hoarders

Some words for Christians on both sides of the Chick-fil-A war

Some words for Christians on both sides of the Chick-fil-A war

Johnston Blog #1: Packing for London

Johnston Blog #1: Packing for London

Boys are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them. Steven Two's Resolution

 A little follow-up on the Boys are Stupid saga.  After all the graduation parties were complete, Steven two was still being silent which was driving my daughter mad.  We had already purchased a custom (ie I couldn't take it back) graduation/18th birthday gift. So on the evening of his birthday, she took it to his home. Little did she know, I had attached the following "Words of Wisdom" to the gift (the version below has been edited). Between what she told him and my bit of advice, that poor child felt like a huge steamy pile of manure. He promised he would never treat someone so callously again and admitted that he acted immaturely.  Two days later, on my girl's 18th, he showed up with the prettiest sapphire and diamond pendant and a self-baked chocolate cake. That boy has great taste in jewelry and some lucky person will benefit greatly in his future. The girl, however, was giddy over the cake. You see the hoarding upbringing did not involve home baked birthday cakes so I've not done that for my children. She put a note on the cake warning all who covet it of a painful death if they dare touch it. At this point they are talking and hanging out very briefly with the help of the wing man and his lovely girlfriend as buffers. It is better. My girl is happy to have her friend again.

"Dear Steven,

I just want to let you know you are not the stereotype you portray.  The first time you came to our home, you introduced yourself as an “ass” which I found endearing. I understand the need to preface an introduction with a disclaimer. I do the same thing. You are, however, neither an ass nor are you the narcissistic, cocky, dumb, horny jock that people believe you are. You do not have to be that person. You do not have to fulfill others expectations of what they believe you are.  I did not see those negative qualities in you at all; only that you think you should be that way.

What do I see in you? I see a shy handsome young man who is figuring out his future, the same as most 18 year olds. I see someone who is smart, funny, quick witted, quiet and calm. You are a very hard working and dedicated tri athlete. If you continue to apply this level of dedication in other aspects of your life, it will serve you very well.  Paradoxically, you also quit when you think the goal is unacheivable; it is easier to callously give up than try and fail.  She lit up when she was with you. You surrendered.  That giving up to avoid failure will not serve you. I see that the conflict you have within yourself as to who people expect you to be, who you really are, and what you want to achieve, is causing a bit of depression.  You know that moody pms-ing bitch thing you do; delightful one minute and cut off silent the next; making your friends walk on eggshells because they don’t want to upset you and send you into that sullen place?  It does not serve you.  I see that you are trying to figure out girls and want a girlfriend, but aren’t sure what the right approach is to fulfill that goal. I do not think you are a slut, whore or user. How could you be when you were too shy to even attempt to kiss my awesome daughter?

I will tell you that if you continue to try to be that idiot others expect of you, you won’t find a good mature relationship.  You will pass by smart, intelligent wonderful people who can fulfill so much more than your hormone filled boyhood lust to get laid.  You will end up with shallow girls who mean nothing to you emotionally and will still leave you feeling empty and alone as soon as the orgasm is over.  Once again, this goes back to feeling as though you need to be what others think you are. 

I will also let you know that ignoring her because you were no longer interested in dating her or hanging out with her or knowing she wasn’t going to have sex with you was lame. She actually likes you for you. She thought highly of your friendship with or without any physical contact.  Turning cold without reason is very confusing and hurtful.  This my friend, is why I have told her since she was three to consider very carefully before having sex; boys who leave because they didn’t get laid, will leave anyway once they do. That is one stereotype you need to purge.  Reach down deep, become a big boy and just tell the next girl you lose interest in face to face. Have some testicular fortitude and do the uncomfortable and right thing by having a mature conversation.  Plain and simple.

In a few short weeks, you will have a fantastic opportunity to throw off the preconceived stereotype that people have of you and become whoever you want to be. No longer should you feel obligated to be the narcissistic, cocky, dumb, horny jock. Get rid of that idiot; put forth those other wonderful traits that are you and become the exceptional adult you are capable of being. 

I wish you only the best and look forward to the smart, funny, quick witted, charming adult Steven who becomes who he wants to be and not what others expect of him.  Congratulations on your graduation and enjoy your 18^th Birthday.

With love and fondness,"

Thoughts on my letter to him? This could be a whole other blog post. I vacillate between thinking this was a good thing to do and being too much in my daughter's business. In the end, of course, he received the letter. Most adults don't have candid conversations with their children or treat their children's peers as mature thinking human beings.  I think someone had to spell this out to Steven. He really is a wonderful person and now I think he will be even more wonderful if he keeps my Sage Advice According to Whit!